How to get through the holidays when you’re struggling with infertility
The holidays can be a difficult time when you’re trying to conceive. Relaxing gatherings with family and friends can start to feel very stressful for couples struggling with infertility. The going gets really tough when you start having to answer the “when are you going to get pregnant” question. Although whoever is asking is probably genuinely interested and not trying to upset you, it’s hard not to take it personally or to let it get you down.
Reproductive Medicine Associates of Southern California (RMASoCal) put together a few tips to get you through the holidays:
Be selective about what invitations you accept.
This is a tough one, because we often feel obligated to join in on holiday get-togethers. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you and your partner. If you have a feeling you’re going to get a lot of pregnancy questions at a particular event, why go?? You can be honest about why you’re not attending, or you can conveniently double book yourself! Either way, your loved ones should respect your decision not to go.
Attend the party for a short amount of time.
If you can’t turn down an invitation (or don’t want to), make a shorter appearance. Arrive just in time for dinner, and leave when you’re ready to. Don’t feel pressured to stay longer than you’re comfortable, and take a break from the crowd whenever you need to.
You be the host.
Take things into your own hands. Hosting the party yourself can give you a sense of control over an otherwise overwhelming situation. Lead the conversations, show off your cooking skills, and enjoy the party on your terms.
Anticipate difficult questions, and be prepared.
Deciding how to deal with questions like, ‘when are you going to get pregnant’ ahead of time can be extremely helpful. You can choose to change the topic, make light of the situation by cracking a joke, be honest about what you’re going through, or not respond at all. However you and your partner choose to tackle those difficult questions is entirely up to you.
Take time for yourself and allow yourself to feel sad.
Dealing with infertility is emotionally draining year-round, but particularly during this time of year. Fighting those emotions or trying to stuff them away will only make you feel worse over time. Your feelings are real and valid, so give yourself the time and space you need to process it all.
Our team at RMA of Southern California is here to help you learn how to cope with the challenges of infertility year-round. For more information, or to schedule an appointment with one of our physicians, please call us at 424-293-8841.